Baseball Goes Woke

As wokeness continues to take over all rational thought, the Cleveland Indians announced that they will soon become the Cleveland Guardians.

Pressure from the politically correct police caused the team to start distancing itself from its Indian image last December, as it didn’t want to be offensive to anyone anymore. The announcement was made via video narrated by actor and liberal lunatic Tom Hanks.

“In searching for a new brand, we sought a name that strongly reflects the pride, resiliency and loyalty of Clevelanders. Guardians embodies those defining attributes while drawing upon the iconic Guardians of Traffic proudly standing just outside Progressive Field on the Hope Memorial Bridge,” said team owner Paul Dolan, who was inspired to move this initiative forward after the death of George Floyd.

This is ironic considering both Britney Spears and my late mother have shown us that the guardianship system is both broken and tainted. Why choose to take on a name that is literally synonymous with taking over the rights of someone else? To me, that is more offensive than anything and completely against what America stands for.

And lest we forget, the nickname Cleveland “Indians” originated in 1915, more than 100 years ago. Seems to me like Dolan is more concerned about being canceled than racist. And as for Tom Hanks, shouldn’t he be apologizing for “Bossom Buddies” where he played a straight man who pretended to be a woman just to save money on rent. Isn’t that offensive to the LBGTQ community?#Truthbomber