And the Oscar Goes to….Nobody Cares!

This year’s real winners are the American people who don’t seem to give a shit anymore about an evening where elitist assholes congratulate themselves while spewing liberal propaganda.

In recent years, the Academy Awards has been nothing but a platform for celebrities like Joaquin Phoenix, Natalie Portman, and Spike Lee to taut their political agendas. Whether it be by wearing a cloak with the names of female directors who they think got snubbed due to a culture of misogyny or an acceptance speech pleading for more social justice, the Oscars have become the most boring and predictable night of the year.

This year’s Oscars are set for April 25th, and if the past year is any predictor, will be a ratings disaster. Many people will want to blame that on the pandemic, but that’s not the case. In fact, award show ratings have been on the declined in recent years, concurrent with the celebrity need to use every opportunity in a ballgown to talk about the hardships of people around the world. But real Americans are smarter than celebrities give them credit for. We know that the person standing there in a $30,000 designer dress, dripping in millions of dollars’ worth of jewelry, complaining that her $7 million paycheck would have been higher if she was a male actor, is just a whiney douchebag who probably can’t string two sentences together without the help of her liberal publicity machine.

Celebrities have done their best to distance themselves from the average person, showing just how out of touch with reality they are. Ellen DeGeneres likened her palatial mansion to a prison cell during lockdown. Arnold Schwarzenegger urged people to stay-home while sitting in a hot tub. Jennifer Anniston posted a Christmas ornament inscribed, “our first pandemic 2020.” And lest we forget the constant barrage of Biden support on Instagram. The same celebrities who urged everyone to “stay home” also urged everyone to get out and vote but ONLY for their candidate.

I for one am glad that people are waking up to the one-note celebrity playbook and can’t wait till society stops celebrating uneducated actors and singers who live both literally and figuratively in La La Land. But in the spirit of “the show must go on,” stay-tuned for my new and improved Academy Award suggestions. After all, who said the categories must be nice? #Truthbomber