And The Nominees Are....


In the spirit of inclusion, this year I decided to include some new categories in the Academy Awards. Here are the nominees….




WORST ACTRESS IN A STARRING ROLE

  • Meghan Markle’s entire “woe is me” performance on Oprah.

  • Lady Gaga wearing “country clothes” and drinking a beer to get rural America to vote for Biden.

  • Vanessa Hudgens’s Instagram video telling people that coronavirus was “inevitable.”

WORST ACTOR IN A STARRING ROLE

  • Marc Cuban wanting to eliminate the National Anthem from all Dallas Mavericks’ home games.

  • Alec Baldwin as a one-note Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live.

  • John Legend performing at the DNC, trying to pretend he isn’t a bigot himself.

WORST SONG OF THE YEAR

  • The COVID-19-inspired rendition of “Imagine” starring Gal Gadot, Jimmy Fallon, Natalie Portman, and other more forgetful celebrities.

  • Rita Wilson rapping “Hip Hop Hooray” in quarantine.

  • Rebel Wilson’s take on “Poor Unfortunate Soul” during the pandemic’s The Disney Family Singalong Volume 2.


WORST ATTEMPT AT SEEMING LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

  • Jimmy Fallon apologizing for a surfaced video of him wearing blackface while impersonating Chris Rock.

  • Ellen DeGeneres in her underwhelming apology video addressing the fact she is a bitch to work with.

  • Kanye West’s attempt at running for President.


WORST CELEBRITY PANDEMIC PSA

  • “Contagion” stars Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, and Lawrence Fishbourne leveraging their movie to get people to #stayhome.

  • The “I Take Responsibility” video starring Kristen Bell, Bryce Dallas Howard, Stanley Tucci, and others apologizing for being white.

  • Morgan Freeman telling people to get vaccinated because he is told that he is the voice “people trust.”